Home » 2010 » I worry too much…

I worry too much…

….and I think I’m going to die young.  Seriously. 

I said I would help a freind out this weekend with a move…but I won’t be able to now and I feel terrible about it.  My lesson for today is to ‘promise only what I can deliver and then deliver more than I promise’.  I think it’s a big lesson to be learnt here.  Although, there was miscommunication and assumptions made, I do feel bad about the whole thing.  And I wish I can fix it, but I just can’t. 

I like being there for ppl…especially if it’s like a move or something where I can lend a hand.  But I won’t be able to this weekend.  Appa and I are moving up earllyyyy Sunday morning to get my stuff.  I’m afraid of the condition of the van.  There’s a transmission problem…. and the tires aren’t that great either.  I’m afraid of the long distance we have to go.  Ottawa is far.  And then to drive back with all the stuff, it’s going to be tough.  I hope we can fit all the stuff in the van.  I honestly can’t wait until this weekend is over.  Moving is a pain in the butt…and not being able to be there for someone is also a pain in the butt.  I don’t like to disappoint… so just feeling low about that. 

But when Appa came home from a long day at work and then after some grocery shopping… (9:00 pm when he ended up coming home)…. he told us about his work situation.  He’s one of those that got hard hit with the recession – working for the auto industry and all.  Now the company he works for is being bought by a bigger one.  I think it might be a good in the end.  But it makes me so sad.  I know he’s stressed out.  And I know he’s so tired.  I look at him these days and he’s just so tried. 

Although my relationship with him has been a rocky one in the past… he is getting older and I just want to be there for him – and make sure he’s okay.   When I look at him and see the worry in his eyes…I feel like my problems are so tiny. 

The new company he’s going to start work for is a lot further…it will take him about an hour to get there. 

There’s a lot of things right now that are so shaky.  It’s a stressful time….for everybody I guess.

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