So I’ve officially moved back home… life here is quite comfortable. I help out with some chores, but honestly, I’ve got it good. I get home-cooked meals everyday… and have all the time in the world to figure out what my next moves are going to be. I’m currently collecting E.I…so not touching my savings. I’ve got lot of time to really figure out what I’m passionate about, where I want to work next, what sort of interests I want to explore and cultivate…
This should all be an exciting time for me in my life….. so I can’t seem to understand why I’m freaking out and being so hard on myself these days?
I feel like if I’m not busy about something – mainly my career – I feel useless, pathetic…. at a standstill. I gotta let go of these inhibitions and just take that moment to breathe a little… soak in some creativity and fly with it, you know? I’ve got lots of ideas…. oh heck I do…. so I don’t understand why I can’t take this time to really explore them? Make them happen? This is the best time… and I need to step back and relax a little. I am too caught up with everything around me, but I haven’t looked inside to see what makes me happy.
It is easier said than done though. I’ve always been a g0-go-go girl… so I feel a little out of sync spending my days like this.
I’ve gotta finish this vision board of mine soon…. and start implementing a lot of them. I’ve already started on some… just joined eXtreme the other day. I’m going to go buck with the working out… I might as well 🙂 I’m excited for that…because I’ve signed up for a year of this… and I better be in shape by the end of it. I’m going to try out some spinning soon. That’s going to kill me…but I need my energy levels back. And the only way to get fit is to put in the hours and sweat and pain. I’m ready for that!
As for the guy-thing… hmm… I wish I had some sort of interest… but I honestly don’t. I know a lot of nice guys… but I feel like these things have to fall into place… can’t be forced. It’s gotta be a two-way streak, I guess. I haven’t met someone that made me want to get to know them so badly. Not yet at least.
Anyways, this post is getting boring, lol…but just thought I’d sort out some of my thoughts here. I’m going to have to remind myself that this moment in time would never come back again… and that I should really enjoy my time off and think of some exciting things to do right now.
Essentially, it comes down to attitude. Situations are what you make of it. And I’m going to change the way I think about this time that I have off. Of course, I’m going to continue with the applications…but also take this time to explore other things.
At this moment in time, I am content. Got the ppl I love around me, the warmth of the sun radiating through the curtains, peace in my mind, body and soul…