it’s 12am…and i’m sitting in a pretty sweet condo after watching ‘just go with it’. I had a pretty interesting day today.
But what’s more important are the days to follow. I just read an emailsaying that I had made it into the EC05 pool! Eeekkk!
I didn’t think I would hear back from them so quickly! I am at some serious crossroads right now and I don’t know what to do.
Am I in control of what happens to me in the next few months? Do I have a say in what happens? I know I have choices to make…like what city I’ll be working in! But can I STEER these choices in the direction I want?
I know what I want. I want to be near family and friends…and I want to spend my summer in Toronto. I want to cultivate what’s forming from my experinece at CSI….I want to know the everyday planning and excitement that goes into helping plan Aka’s and P’s big day! I want to work at bringing MnM to the front…. and I want to spend my summer days in Toronto.
But can I use this pool to find a job there? I don’t know.
I love Ottawa….I always have. It feels like a second home here. And looking around me now, I just feel comfy. The drive here last night was so chill….except for a lil stretch of snow and rain? hehe. But it was a familiar drive. And one of my closest friends is here…which makes the decision to move here that much easier. This is the same person I clicked with the moment I saw her at Frosh Week back in first year. Life’s changed so much since then… but I like where we are now. She is a strong woman….with so much heart…. and embodies drive and success. It would be nice to be in the same city as her.
So what do I do? If I come here…I will have to worry about Chase. I can’t leave him alone in the apartment anymore. I won’t do that to him.
My heart is in Toronto. So I need to find a way to use my pool to find a position in Toronto. That is the only way I can optimize everything!
I know that I won’t find anyone here….so that part of my life will definitely be on hold. Oh well. I don’t think I’ll leave such an amazing opportunity because I may find someone in Toronto. I can’t put my life on hold for that possibility. But there are other reasons why I would want to stay in Toronto. I need to find a way to be there…but still cultivate my career. I’ll find a way. I’m excited! 🙂