I was mean to Rashmi today, and I feel bad about it. Really bad. I guess it was a build-up of a punch of little things….but I wasn’t nice in the end of the day. I have to learn to word things nicer when I’m made.
She recently passed the term and started her job at the TTC. It’s supposedly a great job. But, of course, training and the new environment must not be that fun. But she worked so hard this term and it paid off, but she didn’t celebrate her for getting through it. And she was mopy (is that how you spell it?) with the new job.
I think I’m just iterated that she doesn’t celebrate her for what she’s done. She’s always worrying about something else or unhappy about something. But there’s so much to celebrate about her. So much. And it bothers me that she doesn’t do that.
But that’s what I, fundamentally, need to change about myself. If she is the type that needs to openly be mopy/sad about something …then I should let her be her. Why should I try to tell her otherwise? I do that with a lot of ppl I care about actually. I tell them that they should be another way if their way doesn’t resonate with me. But that is unfair. I should accept them for all that they are. Because those that are close to me are special in their own ways…so why am I trying to change that?
Anyways, I feel bad that I hurt her feelings. And writing here is not going to change anything…but just feel bad about it.