I need a new perspective.
I am stressed out at work in all the wrong ways. I keep feeling in limbo… and therefore act that way towards work. I know it is not a long-term, permanent thing. But I shouldn’t act like it’s temporary. I work long hours, and no one knows it. I prefer it that way, but internally, I don’t feel that those long hours help me in any way. There are no rewards to these long hours.
After I write this post, I’m going to review a proposal. I like doing this stuff, but with all the other things on my plate, it is hard for me to juggle everything. I feel like a failure. And just my luck…I am working with a contractor that is not delivering what we want. It’s just an unfortunate situation and apparently one that people don’t usually experience. I just happen to experience this on the first contract that I manage. Ugh. Maybe the universe is helping me in some way…I like to think.
I would like the universe to help me in other ways. Like present opportunities in Toronto…and give me enough time in the day / evening to apply to them. After my trip with the sisters to DR (which I can’t wait for!) and technical briefing event is over…. and I get to celebrate in Vegas…. I just want to concentrate on me and how I can get myself back home to Toronto. I have to be back before June – in May actually. But I want to leave Ottawa on good terms.
I am excited for this year, but I want this year to be in Toronto…not here. It’s not Ottawa that bothers me…. it is because I feel like I am wasting time here, when I can be building relationships and experience in a place that is more long-term and permanent. I need a new perspective – to clear my mind – to be in my comfort zone. Maybe I will get that in DR with my sisters. I love them to pieces…but never show them that. They deserve to be loved that much.
Anyway, back to this proposal! Only one more day left before I head back home….eeek…can’t wait! 🙂