I am in love.
So wonderful to write those words. Even if there wasn’t a defining moment that made it clear for me…something in me just knows.
To be honest, I think I was falling in love with Ragavan all this time. But I can say now that it suddenly creeped on me…this feeling of confidence that I know I am in love with him. That’s new for me. I’ve never felt that way about someone before in my life.
I feel safe with him. I feel comfort around him.
He is supportive…although sometimes doesn’t understand some things. But I can comfortably tell him that too.
It’s exciting to plan our life together. There’s going to be a lot of adjusting… and a lot of changes. Moving away from my family is something I’m really sad about… but I want to make it all work.
I don’t want my family to think that I just moved far away. I want them to know I am always here for them. And I want Ragavan to show that he will continue to put in effort with my family – even moreso becuase I live far away from them – and it is important to me. I want him to know that they are his family too.
Maybe I’m dillusional right now because it’s 2am and I’m working on work for tomorrow. But I’m feeling so charged these days. It’s a good thing. It’s a weird mixture of stress, excitement and fear. It doesn’t sound pleasant at all, but something in me says this is going to make me grow in so many ways. All these changes are a good thing. I just have to get more comfortable with change.
I want to enjoy the next few months… do really well in my job….spend time with my family…. spend time with Ragavan’s family and make it comfortable for both sides to meet…. start planning and setting up our home… travelling… working out and eating healthy and all the while remembering to do the little things that makes everyone around me that I love feel loved. It’s a lot, but I want to do them all.
I think it will all be okay.